You don't have a problem

 

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What if I told you that you don't have any problems?

I know what you'd say.

"You're kidding, right?"

(Or maybe something more vulgar)

We often feel like we have to escape our problems.

Isn't that how we talk?

We want to "get away" from it all.

We want to "leave" it all behind.

Our problems feel overwhelming.

It feels like we can't do anything about them.

But the issue is after we "get away", the problems are still there waiting for us when we come back.

Yikes.

What now?

Are we stuck in this forever loop of being in and out of constantly emerging "problems"?

Is there no escape?

You know I don't think that, of course.

Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this newsletter.

The thing is, this is a real place.

I've been there.

I've been working as a dental assistant for some years now.

And it was one of the biggest obstacles I have had to overcome.

Being flung halfway across the office

by emergencies,

last-minute procedures,

and impatient professionals.

How on earth do you stay cool under this kind of never-ending pressure.

And tolerate the doctor having the gall to say,

"Today went smoothly, didn't it?"

Without wanting to strangle her while screaming,

"IN WHAT UNIVERSE?!"

Well, as much as I wasn't happy about going through at the time, that experience taught me enough to be able to say today that I've overcome it.

I've beaten this level.

And I have the skill to make beating the next level even easier.

And I want to show you how I did it.

How to beat your personal boss level of "problems."

And turn them into non-problems.

But what's the point??

We're always going to have problems, right?

Wrong.

I say we don't have to have "problems"

You can be unshakable.

You can stand in the face of anything, calm, cool, and collected.

You can be an influence and a source of rest for the people around you.

Show them what taking life by the horns looks like.

And it all comes down to one word.

Challenge.

It's not a problem.

It's a challenge.

What does that even mean?

It means you don't have to look at problems as robbing you of your control and stealing your happiness.

Reframe.

Take the problem and show it who's boss.

Flip it on its head.

If you take responsibility, you also take back your control.

Make it submit to your control.

Think of this from Myron Golden:

It's never a lack of resources, it's a lack of resourcefulness.

This could be applied to many things, but if we think of it in the case of our problems in life, it means one thing.

Find the gold in the challenge.

There is always some benefit to be had.

Find it.

On my job, that's what I did.

And I took it so far as to get a permanent bracelet with the words "Fun Challenge" inscribed on it.

I wear it to this day.

Still waiting for it to mysteriously pop off and make me sad

(Hasn't happened yet, thankfully)

Every time something would come up—and I mean EVERY time

I would look at my bracelet, take a breath, shift perspective, and then go.

How to Change the Frame

It takes practice. It's not a one-time mastery event.

1. Practice reframing in the moment. When emotions rise, pause and think, "It's not a problem. It's a fun challenge." You can't do it when everything is fine and dandy and expect it to be easy when things are rough. Reframe when it's rough. Every time. Put your mind to work.

2. Think in rewards. When we embrace things as "challenges," we can start to see benefits. For me, I thought, "If I can focus through this, I'll be out of here by 5:15 instead of 6." There's always something to learn, something to improve, something to gain. Find it.

3. Turn on "seek and destroy." When you enter this mode of thinking rewards, your brain automatically enters a "seek mode" where it tries to identify all the angles that will be good for you. You don't even have to do it consciously once your mind has been set to see the problem as a challenge.

This practice will change you.

In a real and deep sense.

Life won't just be more fun,

Like how I went from hating to do root canal procedures to racing to beat my best time for setting up and breaking down the room.

It won't just be exciting to conquer the challenge,

But you'll go from being the anxious worrier—constantly thinking about your problems—to being the cucumber—chill and cool under pressure.

On top of that, your influence will change.

You won't be infecting people with your stress

(which is a real thing and not just a metaphor)

But you'll become a source of comfort and rest for the people around you.

Spreading the good vibes.

The good and the bad news is it's all in your hands.

You either claim the control with the responsibility or give up both.

You change you—you change your perceptions—you change your quality of life.

It might not be easy, but it is simple.

Which means it's doable.

Get the life you want.

Take it by force.

Thanks for reading!

If you like this newsletter, you'll love my YouTube channel @Niqueyinflight. Check it out.

Also, I would love to chat with you about what action step you think you need to take next to get on the cucumber train with me.

Hit reply and leave a comment.

Let me know your thoughts.

Looking forward to it.

~Niquey

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